Discovery Walk.

Right now, for some reason, I feel like people never really get to see who I really am or what im all about. I'm not quite sure how to word what I want to say properly, but i can try. I just feel like there's "more". I feel like im "more" than just a cute little blond hair blue eyed girl who has a funny thing, or two, to say. I feel like, the people who really do know me for who I really am are either to far away or have lost my trust because of numbers of incidents that i just cant seem to wrap my head around.

I want to show you who I am, i want to go on crazy adventures in the snow. I want to call you and tell you about my day, my life, my thoughts, my feelings!
I think i said this once before... but don't flatter yourself.. this is not about you.

Well there are two crazy kids running around with my cellphone taking pictures.. ill finish this note later...


Oh great, one of them almost just put my scarf in the toilet! "bee look! Its like spaghetti"

Edit:

Anyways what was I saying? You know what really bothers me... i and I. why do we even bother with the lower case.. if I say:
i want ice cream, i love it! (wrong)
I want ice cream, I love it (right!)

Its the upper I's and the lower i's i don't know! I i I i i! eye eye!
stupid.

I don't know where the men these days get their common sense. I went on a date with a boy once, we kissed, and he then asked me if he could pull out his penis and jack off.

Honestly, what the fuck.

Someone carry me away please, i don't want to be left behind or in the dark. Where have all the decent people gone?

I always looks for the prefect picture, to capture what im feeling when i write these.

Untitled

One day, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is this world revolves around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed to find out that it was not them. I cant help but glance around the room and realize no one sees how normal I am.

Am I the kind of human wreckage that you love..because I am too lost to be saved?

heart, lungs chest....inhale, exhale....repeat.

I am the keeper of the winds. I dance beneath the Willows and share my secrets with the stars. I like to think im an artist. I am that one that you could never tame. I like to think sometimes that I don't have a family or a home. I belong to the world, I jump on my bed in my underwear to 70's music, splash through puddles, and sing in the rain. little bones, pale skin, big eyes. I am a romantic, a lover not a fighter, but when i need to fight i give it my all. Sharp tongued and dangerous. The notes of an acoustic guitar, the beat of the drum calm me. I am all words, smiles, and heart. The forbidden fruit, the blood in your veins, the air in your lungs.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed one day. From then on its been me against the world.

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

are there no more kind words to be spoken..to be strung into beautiful lines..to be inspirational to others?

Teen poetry full of angst, real or otherwise, crowds the blogs of my friends..of strangers. Has the world really become such a horrible place? Is humanity going that far down hill..that you can search through hundreds of friends, and have a hard time finding anything worth reading..anything beautiful..anything about a topic other than broken hearts, and ruined lives?

I'll admit..I've fallen victim as of late as well.

Its been a while since I've written anything about love.. yeah a while..

Have I lost the desire to put it into words? To express how I feel, the only way I used to know how?

The feelings not gone, so why have the words left me?

why have they left us all?

and...

are they coming back?

Today has been an awkward day full of emotionless tears and unhappy feelings and all i can find myself doing at the moment is this, sitting writing once again to no one who will read. The Above notes are just things i spent writing about last night, i got no sleep, and decided to write. Fucking headache.


I want something more, something bigger than this.

Since iv posted this i think iv edited it about 5 times, its either i cant seem to put what im feeling or i find something wrong with the way iv written this. Over the past month or so i feel as if people have started to hide me. From others, as if i don't exist. It doesn't completely bother me, just makes me feel like im not good enough sometimes...