Leave Me Be.

Well it’s late, im grumpy, and I feel like writing a lot of pointless crap that later ill probably look back at and realize none of it was really true.

Basically, I feel like shit right now, I look like shit, and im wearing pj's that look like shit. Shit shit shit. Anyways, I don’t really know how to say it or what to say but im just in the worse "shit" mood ever. I feel like just going for a run, but since it IS 11:23PM that's kind of out of the question. Id most likely be running away from serial killers and rapists. Hmm, serial killers and rapists. Why is it that everyone is so stereotypical? I mean, why does everyone think serial killers and rapists live in the darkness? Maybe they do... Maybe there were a bunch of them that created a pact that they were going to "strike" at night and only at night. Or maybe it’s as simple as the fact that it’s easier to be sneaky at night, its dark, and just downright spooky sometimes.

Anywhoo that was completely off topic. Tomorrow I am going to see rooms to rent in Oakville. I’m very, ugh, just uptight and frustrated. Even right now.

I seem to be very confused and things just get complicated. I can’t even sit and write a goddamn post without tearing up because I feel so fucking bad for myself lately. And its not that I don’t want to talk about it with people. It’s the fact that I don’t want people to know I feel this way, or that sometimes imp upset when I don’t seem upset or whatever.

I guess tonight is just one of those nights I just feel like giving up. Tomorrow-ill wake up thinking "Great! Apartments" and go along with my day but for now, well I can sulk and cry and take this time to write, and just get whatever it is that’s bugging me (and has been for the last couple weeks or so) OUT!

Unfortunately, I don’t and can’t really write that feeling... It’s like depression but not as severe. Its easy to hide it seems, but at the same time eats away at me until I give in day after day. Oh boy. I guess it’s just the mood the "shit feeling" welling up inside me, maybe the grumpiness setting in. I want to sleep, I want to cry, and I want to wake up feeling like it doesn’t matter anymore.

Well it IS late, I AM grumpy, and I just wrote a lot of pointless crap that later I will look back at and realize none of it was really true.