Fine and Mellow

Billie Holiday on vinyl, and an ugly roots sweater (and I assure you its ugly!) that’s not even my own, I find myself back on the balcony at the apartment I seem to have grown mighty fond of.

The air is frigid. Yesterday seemed like spring, but today there’s been snow, and the air is dry and tasteless, winter. Although I still put myself through the freezing finger pain and sit on the balcony with my laptop in my lap typing yet again to no one, yet everyone. The warm computer screen melts the snow that hits it. It’s nice, but probably bad for the computer.

I can’t wait for it to be summer, probably for all the wrong reasons. I just want to be able to go for a walk without having to bundle up, Laziness.

I bought cheese today, yes cheese. No, not ice cream... cheese. So unlike me. But I figured at one on the morning if I felt nibbly I could just cook me up some grilled cheese and call it a night. I do that sometimes, when my parents are asleep. Not in the way your thinking. I don’t grill it on the main floor, where the stove is. I use my cute little hot plate and bring all the shit downstairs and cook away. I wonder if they can smell it while they sleep.

And what if they could? Would they begin to dream of food? Grilled cheese, macaroni and cheese, and whatever else smells like cheese. I guess that’s something I have yet to experience. I’m sure if bacon was cooking and I happened to be sleeping beside the stove, I would be up in an instant with my mouth open “feed me!”

Hm. I wonder if these journals will ever come in handy one day. When I went to College they sure did. We had “journal” assignments where we had to express our feeling and thoughts about the days in class, and the shows we went to see.

I never wrote about class, or shows.

I copy ad pasted all my facebook notes and handed in a big pile that I edited to make look like they were for the class, when really they weren’t.

You see now, the thing is, I can’t be told to write every day. I can’t be told my “writing schedule”. When Im told when and how to write, I feel rebellious and decide not to do it until last minute and pull something phenomenal out of my ass. This, by the way, is what I did.

The teachers couldn’t get over my writing skill and commented on how well I was at keeping things simple and easy to read but I assure you they were not happy about the fact that I didn’t mention a thing about the program or how I felt about it. Other than my one journal about an incident we had during the first month of class.

I got a good mark, the teachers got something different to read, and we were both happy. I’m actually surprised it worked. But these seem to be getting longer than I want. I’m going to try to shorten these entries. 530 words seem to be ridiculous.

One of Those, One of These

So i feel like writing, but you see, i have absolutely nothing and at the same time absolutely everything to say here.

Have your eyes ever started to burn because of the computer screen? Mine have, mine are. Turn down the brightness, it usually helps. 50% should due.

The Only Moment We Were Alone - Explosions In the Sky

So i have listened to this on a loop for the past hour, which seems like forever. And i want to write lyrics, but we come back to the " i have nothing, yet everything to say"

I cant exactly say its writers block, because you see, i am still writing. I just haven't really say a whole lot in the past 111 words i have typed.

In that case, i guess i should get going with this writing business. Cut to the chase, as some would say. Let me tell you a story then, since this song is running through my head, and someone mentioned pasta, which got me thinking even more. Old pasta actually. Its amazing. No, not "it". "I", yes I am amazing. Sometimes i don't understand the things i do.

When i was in college, there was nothing around to eat other than pasta (which was fine, im a big fan) I cooked the pasta, but way to much of it, so i just ate what i could and set the rest aside on my desk, pondering weather or not i could muster up the strength to put it in the fridge where usually food belongs after your done picking through it.

Well i never got around to doing it, and that pasta sat for two whole days. Two days on a dusty desk, in a messy room, that seemed to always smell like dirty socks (i don't know why, i DID do my laundry... from time to time)

Oh it had just crossed my mind as of now.
I hope you are listening to that song that i had posted. It IS 10 minutes long, so im sure once you are finished reading this it should be somewhere in the middle.

Anyways back to the pasta. I don't believe in wasting things, and at 2am, old pasta thats been sitting on a desk for a few days does look quite appealing, so i did what a basic lower class teenage boy would have done! (not saying i am one, just that i may act like one at points)

Yes, i did. I took the pasta and put it in the microwave, zapped it, and ate the entire bowl. (at least what was left of it.) And since i knew it was something disgusting to do, i enjoyed it that much more. The pasta did taste fantastic, and it wasn't moldy, so i was safe.

Im sure a few years from now i will be told by my doctor that i have some rare disease that only comes by when you eat 2 day old pasta that's been sitting out in a dirty sock smelling room, and you can only contract the disease if you zap the pasta in the microwave for 53 seconds on high.

Im fucked.

I thought this needed to be captured.

(8)

I never knew that on MSN this: (8) meant a music note...

So the other day i got in a car accident. I am not going to sit here and explain exactly what happened but let me just tell you it was my fault, and in no way, shape, or form could i have ever prevented this accident from happening. What i am getting to is well... we don't know if my vehicle is going to get fixed, or if insurance is going to tell us to get a new one.

I don't want a new one! I want my one! My car! My Buick! My BABY! My first car ever. It might sound strange to you... to not want a new car... but step inside my shoes for a minute.

My Buck, my green Buick century, once my grandparents, my very first car in my entire lifetime is scrunched up and looks like a piece of crumpled tin foil that's been ripped and stomped on.

Less than a year and i might have to already get a new vehicle? I don't think so.

Anyways MOVING ON! Yesterday at Canada's Wonderland i did all the rides that i never thought about going on before.. because they never looked like that much fun. Well it was a basic don't judge a book by its cover lesson because those wooden rides are the most fun i have ever had in my entire lifetime. Even though my boobs seemed to fly left and right it was still fun lol!

Bah i move in less than two weeks! 8 days! I went shopping and got lots of stuff... I just don't feel like writing anymore right now... Ill talk to you guys later... tomorrow...